#2a) Do not let yourself be ruled by fear

Fear and I know each other intimately. We have been boon companions for all of my life, and certainly through all of my important creations…

When I first began self-development work I was 17 years old and I was regularly so afraid of life that I would spend entire days in bed, crouching under the covers, hiding from my fears of facing simple life tasks. I have at times suffered anxiety so strong it escalated into psychosis.

Nearly every important and life changing thing I have done in my life has involved facing and besting the fear dragon, so yes, I do feel a bit qualified on this subject…

Here’s the thing:

Fear is very powerful.

It was designed by nature to help us survive by priming us to take immediate action when needed so we could get away from predators FAST. In an actual life-threatening situation, fear is a great ally.

If a full grown lion were to enter your house right now, fear would pump adrenalin into your body, priming you to stand up to a creature you would never before think of facing, or to run faster than you ever have; and fear would sharpen your mind, giving you clarity and access to details you wouldn’t normally notice; and fear would shut down your pain sensors a little, so you could keep fighting this great beast even once hurt.

Fear is designed to override the rest of your functions – to create an imperative towards a certain action that must be obeyed, so that NO MATTER WHAT you run, or freeze, or fight.

All well and good in the afore-said life threatening situation – in this case your fear response might even save your life or that of someone else’s.

Fear is not inherently bad. Like all emotions, it serves a great purpose and connects us to our humanity and each other in a beautiful, vulnerable way. But it’s a serious problem when it’s running the show – when your life and your actions are governed by fear.

There are a whole bunch of reasons why:

One:

Fear drives action, and it overrides everything else. When you are afraid, truly afraid, it is hard to think about anything else but the thing you fear. Hard to do anything else but the thing your body is begging you to do (this will be dependent on your personality type, but could be Run, Hide, Attack, Avoid, Deny, Blame, Freeze and others).

Fear is designed this way, to help you survive life threatening situations – it doesn’t want you thinking about other things, or hesitating – like a drill sergeant, it just wants you to do what it tells you, NOW.

Unfortunately, in real life, this often leads to bad decisions, and senseless inefficient action which hurts you more than it helps you.

As an example of this – take Corona Virus. Here we have a disease, that whilst highly contagious, poses little risk except to those who are elderly or who have pre-existing conditions. Then out of a panic response, we have the whole world shutting down and going into isolation. Is this the smartest action to take in these circumstances? Only time will tell.

Whilst shutting the world down MAY slow the progression of the virus, it WILL have dire effects on the world’s economy, which is already suffering, and extreme and immediate effects on millions of people who depend on weekly pay checks to eat and have a roof over their heads, not to mention the psychological effects of isolation on millions of vulnerable individuals and families.

So maybe we slow down the virus (perhaps there are other ways of protecting those in danger than stopping the entire world?). But definitely we create a global economic and emotional crisis that will affect a far greater number of people for a much longer period of time than it is likely the virus ever would.

This is how fear based action works – you try to avoid one thing – but end up causing a much worse thing. 

This is the point: when you are run by fear, you do stupid hasty stuff that has bad consequences, and it often hurts you more than it serves you.

Two:

Fear makes you easily manipulated.

Want someone to do what you want them to do? Easy. Scare them. Point out the negative consequences if they don’t do it. Threaten their life, or their wellbeing, or their family. Now you have them in the palm of your hand. You can direct their every action from here if you like.

When you allow fear to run you, you put yourself in a dangerous and powerless position and you are subject to anyone who chooses to take the reins. You might be lucky and this person might be a benevolent dictator, and you might not.

Worse than the outer manipulator though, is the one inside you. As you probably know, I have worked with people’s patterns for the last 22 years, and I have mastered the craft. (If you don’t know, a person’s pattern is basically the blueprint of their dysfunctional, self-sabotaging behaviour). Here’s one of the key points I have learned over that time: Your pattern runs on fear. That is the petrol that fuels it, and that keeps it running. Without fear, you have no pattern.

Your pattern uses what you fear to manipulate you – it tells you (not in words necessarily) that your greatest fear or concern WILL happen if you don’t take the action it wants you to take. And then you take the action. And that takes you deeper into your pattern. And then your pattern threatens you with the next thing you fear, so you take the next action it wants you to take, and you go deeper again into your pattern. And so on. The result is the ruination, or at least diminishment, of your creations and your life goals.

Your pattern is dysfunctional behaviour and self sabotage. If you want to master life, and your own consciousness, you have to free yourself from the fear that fuels your pattern – then your sabotaging tendencies will sicken and die and you will be free to rise above the worst side of you, and finally really truly live your life.   

Three:

Fear blinds you from the truth.

Think about your first thoughts when the Covid 19 crisis began to really get going, when you realised it would have real effects on you and your family. What did you imagine? Did you imagine your loved ones dying? Did you imagine your business or your income being decimated? Did you worry about a lack of resources in the future (especially toilet paper)?

Fear creates a projected fantasy of the future that we assume will come to pass and then we try and prevent it from happening. This projected fantasy is usually overblown, scary and inaccurate, and more importantly, it blinds us to the real truth of the situation. So, whilst you are freaking out about bankruptcy you don’t notice that your beloved partner is considering leaving you, or whilst we are freaking out about terrorism we don’t notice that our civil liberties have been severely limited, or whilst we worry about offending certain minority groups, we don’t notice that political correctness has permanently eroded truth.

Fear is a smokescreen that shuts you down and stops you from noticing IMPORTANT stuff that is going on right under your nose. It causes you to make allowances for things which should never be allowed. In effect, it steals your independence and turns you into an easily lead, easily driven sheep-like creature.

And you shouldn’t let it. You’re more than that.

Don’t miss out on the magnificence of life because you have your fear blinkers on.

Four:

Fear is very very contagious.

Yes. Way more so than Corona. Way more so than a positive message. Way more so than inspiration. Look how fast the message of danger and isolation got around the world… Ask yourself, would a message of hope EVER move that fast, and be taken on so wholeheartedly by so many people of so many different creeds?

Fear has an energy and a force about it that makes it seem real, and makes it seem sensible, and makes it seem important. This is part of the immediacy of fear, and it’s another thing that makes fear dangerous.

Fear has an energy and a force about it that makes it seem real, and makes it seem sensible, and makes it seem important. This is part of the immediacy of fear, and it’s another thing that makes fear dangerous.

It’s far easier to get a whole bunch of people to agree to be afraid of something than it is to get a whole bunch of people to choose to be powerful, or to take responsibility, or to go for real and lasting change.

When fear is in the room with you, when someone is trying to pour their anxiety and their negative worldview all over you, you don’t have to take it on. I’m not talking about denial of reality here either. I don’t mean put your head in the sand and pretend nothing is going wrong. I mean face life with open eyes and a full heart and don’t let the contagion of fear into your system.

Five:

Fear has very negative affects on your health. 

Did you know that cancer cells are naturally occurring in most humans? I didn’t. But I read up on some cancer studies recently and I discovered that yes, cancer cells can occur naturally, and most of them are benign. Studies have been done that suggest that some subjects who are diagnosed with cancer are actually initially not in danger from the cancer cells because they are benign, but then, the FEAR of cancer and the stress this places on the person’s body and immune system escalate the disease into proper life-threatening cancer, and in some cases they die.

Cortisol, the stress drug, causes any number of negative health problems, from gaining weight, to insomnia, to anxiety, depression, lowered immunity and heart disease to name a few.

It boils down to this: whilst being afraid for a short time here and there, as a response to immanent danger can boost your body’s functions, being in fear for long times, or all the time is seriously bad for your health.

This is why it is so important to be judicious with your fear. To notice when its real (rare), and notice when it is a projection of your mind (often), and learn how to free yourself of its negative influences.

This is the last point, I promise:

Six:

Fear blocks your inherent connection to your centre.

Your centre is the part of you where the knowing is. It’s the part of you that is wise, and connected to your power, and grounded. It’s where you are when you’re connected to your heart, when you’re inspired, when you’re enlivened. It’s also nourishing, nurturing and it feels like home.

The first thing fear does is seperate you from this part of yourself.

Why?

Because you’re too relaxed in your centre, and remember fear wants you to take immediate action so you can escape the danger rearing up in front of you. Ironically, being seperate from your centre also creates more fear, as it’s like being isolated from your soul, from your heart’s purpose, from your inspired nature, and this doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel secure.

Pushing you out of your centre is how fear achieves a lot of the other things it does, like blinding you from the truth, making you easily lead and easily manipulated, overriding your brain and making you take panicked action.

None of these things would be possible if you retained your connection to your centre.

So this is the way back.

In these dangerous and uncertain times, reconnect with your centre, every day preferably. Have practices that serve you in reconnecting you with what matters to you, that remind you what is right for you to give your attention to now, and bring you home to your best self in this challenging season.

For all these reasons and more, mastering your fear is a vital skill if you want to shape the life you love. (POINT: when I say master, I do not mean control – that is a different kettle of fish and can be quite detrimental). When you master your fear you can reconnect with the larger, more powerful, more inspired aspects of you, and act from that place, and then your actions will be infinitely more effective and more loving. Plus, life hurts less when you make friends with your fear – I know this very intimately.

Stay connected to your power. You are an amazing being, and the world needs your heart and soul right now more than ever. xx